The Quiet Power of Norm-Setting in Teams

If you’re a leader, you’ve probably heard of Tuckman’s model: Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing, and Adjourning. In many teams, these stages don’t just unfold once,they repeat in cycles, each time the team changes, grows, or faces something new. And while each phase is crucial, there’s one that can make or break the team culture long-term: the norming phase.

Norm-setting is what I call the leadership art of shaping how people behave together. It’s the moment where unspoken rules begin to form. Do we give each other feedback, or avoid discomfort? Is our tone generally optimistic, or do we let negativity lead? Are we proactive or passive-aggressive when something isn’t working?

In strong teams, norms don’t just happen by chance. They are set, actively, intentionally, by the leader.

Norm-setting happens in conversations, one-on-one coaching, and team rituals. But its real impact is often in the group setting. Imagine a morning check-in. A team member expresses frustration with a process. The energy drops. Everyone feels it, but no one says a word. This is your moment. As a leader, this is where you step in, not to punish, but to steer.

You might say, “I notice this is affecting the energy. Do you feel that too?” Then pause. Let the group respond. Bring them back to an earlier agreement like staying constructive. “We agreed that if something’s not working, we speak up, but we also aim to stay positive. How can we do that here?” That’s norm-setting.

You’re not shutting someone down. You’re reminding the team: this is how we do things here. Over time, those reminders build culture. When done well, team members start to correct each other. The group holds itself to the standard.

But here’s the thing. Many leaders avoid this moment. It feels uncomfortable. They tell themselves, “It’s just Pietje, he’s always like that,” or “They’re right, so I’ll let it go.” But every time you let it go, you’re setting a different norm: that the loudest voice wins, or that we don’t follow through on our values.

Good norm-setting takes courage. And it takes care. You don’t call someone out to embarrass them. You step in to protect the group’s climate. That means watching what happens next. After a tricky moment, check in with the person who spoke up. Maybe also with someone who seemed affected. A quick call or a short talk goes a long way.

This is leadership. It’s not always visible or loud, but it shapes everything. If you want a healthy, high-performing team, you must set the tone. You won’t get it perfect every time. No leader does. But with self-reflection, courage, and a bit of follow-up, norm-setting becomes a powerful tool to build real culture and trust.